12/13/22 1:27 pm

I don't want to abandon this blog although I might HEAVILY redesign it one day. I never been good at keeping journals or anything like that. I am not a creature of habit. I'm sad. I'm really sad and I don't know what to do about it. I know drinking enegry drinks is certainly not helping. I just don't know what to really do to bring my enegry back. It's the christmas season I want to feel energic and happy. It's not like I'm one of those people who are depressed and revel in it. I just don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. I wish I could sleep for a really long time. Not forever, but to feel well again. Ugh, i think i hate my job.

12/6/22 2:18 am

my head hurts. I think I'm dehydrated. i don't understand why she pushes me away. I really don't. I love her so much, but it's like no matter what I do there's always something. I'm not enough and I want to be. I can only provide so much and there's only so many mistakes I can keep myself from making. I don't know. I wish, I yearn to be enough. to be the boyfriend she deserves.